Photo by Cassie Eduardo
I am pretty sure I am not the very first person to say that trust is a fragile thing. We all know that once it is broken it can never be fully mended. It is just like a broken mirror that you can fix and get the shattered pieces back together, but can never conceal the cracks. We all know that a broken trust is an irreparable damage.
But does one really understand what happens when trust has been lost? It is not so much about the anger you feel after finding out that someone had lied to you. It is not about the disappointment you feel for being let down. It is also not so much about your pride that was stepped on after knowing that someone had been cheating on you. For me, those are the easy things to get over with when someone breaks your trust. It is more about what happens after.
It is about the fear you will feel after you have been betrayed. It is about you seeing the world in a different, darker, and lonelier light. You will be cautious because you will be afraid to be broken again. You will reject to see the goodness in other people thinking that it will be another trick to fool your damaged and delicate heart. You will refuse to believe because you know that, just like before, promises will not be kept, and that nothing in this world remains truthful and fair.
You will want to give yourself another shot at love, but every now and then you will be reminded of the pain of being broken, and the feeling of not being enough and worthy of love. You will feel fear over and over and over again. The cycle will go on for a very long while, and you will feel like it will take forever for you to heal.
But you will heal; only god knows when. And when that happens, you will be surprised to see yourself still standing, although deeply wounded and forever scarred, but with a wiser and braver heart.