On Life

To My Greatest Demon

I would like to think that I have won because I was chosen over you, but I guess this is more than just a competition for love. Besides, it is not about who was chosen because choices can change whenever people feel like changing them. And you can be chosen (or unchosen) for the wrong reasons. In the end, the real “winner” is the one who gets to lead a happy life after the shipwreck; and that’s no exaggeration, that’s the truth.

So, here I am trying to win this “competition” more by teaching myself to be happy again even though I am not sure if you really are competing against me. Not that it matters. Still, I cannot help myself from thinking about these things:

I wish you would know how much what you have done has damaged me.
Would it make you feel bad?
Would it make you feel ashamed?
Because, honestly, that’s what I want you to feel.
There’s no better way to have revenge but to see you become as miserable as you have made me.
I want you to feel the unnameable anguish whenever you see my face, the same way I do when I see yours.

It may be healthy for me or not, but I just need to let my feelings out and be honest to myself before the days ends.


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