I am sorry to bother you, but it’s here again. I can feel it attacking and seeping through the fragile fabric of my very existence.
This is why I hate the social media and often delete and/or deactivate my accounts.
This is why I hate listening to the stories of other people.
This is why I always preferred to be sheltered in my own world.
Because hearing other people’s stories, be it a good or a bad one, only make me feel worse than I am already feeling;
Their happy stories and life updates only make me resent my own and question the universe why my life is not as great as theirs and why mine is only full of awful experiences, failures, and bad memories. I know what you are thinking, if there is one word for it, yes, that is envy.
While their sad stories only prove nothing but that this world is evil and nothing good will ever come out of it no matter how hard you try to be a good person – that life itself is a senseless thing. If there is another word for it, that is hopelessness.
But, I am going to remind myself to keep fighting the negative thoughts away. I am going to tell myself that it is okay, that I should not envy other people’s life because we all have journeys of our own. I am on Day 7 of my own journey and I am a week through. I do not want to break the chain and give up on myself now that I have started fighting. I know I have to get through the tunnel of these emotions to get to the other side where the light is, and I will not let myself get stuck in the middle.
So for now, I am going to take a deep breathe in, calm myself, sit back, and enjoy my sushi while telling myself, “I am going to fight and work hard for everything I want. I am going to places. I am going to take on this world, one sushi at a time.“