They say that it is not about what other people do to us, but how we react to what they do that really makes an impact in our lives. It is easy to be mad at people who have wronged us and to make judgments against them. It is easy to fall victim to their hurtful actions and feel sorry for ourselves. But what most of us fail to realize is that we have the power to remain unscathed by the things they do.
As the saying goes, we can never control other people, only our reactions to them. We can try to rack our brains in the attempt to figure out and understand why people do hurtful things to us. We can try to look back for as long as our memory can stretch to whatever we have done wrong in the past to deserve being treated in such bitter fashion. We can even lay down our pride and beg them to stop. We can try to find the perfect words to make them understand that what they do hurts. But none of these matters because people can be selfish when they want to and only think about themselves. People will do whatever they want no matter how much you try to stop them.
People do as they please simply because they do not feel what the others around them feel. Some people can tell us they understand what we are going through. They can say they feel sorry for us. They can empathize and tell us they share our burdens. But in reality, we are alone and we are the only ones who can feel whatever emotions we are feeling at the moment. We own our own experiences and the emotions caused by them.
Since we own our emotions, thus the reactions that we have, that is the only thing that we can control. We might not be able to change how things around us are, but luckily, we can always change how we steer our wheels from the inside. If we know that what someone is doing degrades us, we can always say, “No,” and walk away from that person. If someone is trying to manipulate us, we can choose not to give in to what they want. If we feel as if we are being used, if someone has been making up false hopes and promises to take advantage of our frailties, we can always choose not to believe.
For we know what we want in life and from other people. We know within ourselves how we want to be treated and valued by others. Once we know what kind of people and things hurt us, then we will know what to steer clear of.
It is indeed easy to fall victim to other people’s hurtful actions, but once we realize that we, too, are uncontrollable (by them), then we will become unstoppable.